Me likey

I just found this on pinterest. I mean I don't normally gravitate towards the quote type things on there but I really really really liked this one for many many many reasons.

Also, raise your hand if you wish the Dixie Chicks had a holiday albumn!!???? I mean do they and I don't know??? Nothing comes up on Pandora...but if you type in Jessica Simpson Holiday Radio you get one banging station for yourself.

Since we don't get to dress up for our Christmas party this year, I'm putting all my thoughts, crafting, designing and desires into Annie's Minnie Mouse birthday party. Just you wait. Did you know the twins say "Minnie" in the cutest possible way. It might replace "Fishies" as the cutest thing they say in my mind. I mean they all sorts of things and then even more that Jessica decifiers and I can't- but like "Minnie" in 20 month old voices warms my heart like nothing right now.

And in the spirit of behind-the-scenes....I'm not into Christmas at all. I have no desires at this moment to get a tree, I don't want to decorate, I don't want to drag the shit out. I'm not excited about buying or getting presents and I mean I LOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEE buying, wrapping and of course getting Christmas presents. Christmas in our house (like I'm sure many houses) was like the high high highlight of the year and I just can't shake it. How the fuck are we going to have Christmas without my Mom there. I feel like in someway I'm stalling myself from arriving at it because I don't really want to experience it without her because it's going to painful. I'd rather just stay in my state of over-scheduling distraction. Like its going to be sooo sooooooo real to wake up Christmas morning without my Mother.

I really hope Jessica Simpson Christmas can get me in the mood! I mean it's Mags 1st Christmas!!!!!!!

And other than that I'm still high on life working. I had a Komen meeting last night and I couldn't get enough- like I must have told 10 ppl that I liked being at work. Another girl in the group had a little girl at the end of October and this was her first more than 1hr segment away from the baby- she had three glasses of wine like she had gotten out of jail. She's retired/investment banker husband/volunteers for basically every group in Houston probably accumulating 40hrs a week doing that- she told me she's done with her maternity leave from retirement. ha. Made me laugh! She also said her baby doesn't sleep past 2-3hr chunks at night. I told her go read babywise...she didn't know, she didn't know about it. There are groups of people out there that don't know, no one has told them!!!!!!

And I wore maternity pants to work yesterday and I'm doing it again today. Can someone please post that they did the same thing. Thanks.

Madge-ey Pie

Mags drank 5.5 oz for dinner last night, like I got the big bottle out and put 5.5 in just to see what would happen and she drank the whole dang thing and then talked herself to sleep. And I do mean talked. Not cried. Like I went to put the paci back in after 15 min of talking and her eyes were closed just talking. Paci + the rub down the nose like Giggy taught me and the talking stopped and sleeping commenced.

I pumped 4 times at work yesterday (which was hard to fit in)- and yielded 10 oz of milk + 4 from the middle of the night pump...that doesn't make 4, 5oz bottles (and I mean do they need to be 5.5 anyways???) and I was sooooooooo stressed about this last night. And then I heard a little blond voice in my head saying, "Breastfeeding is not all or nothing Sari" And I woke up this morning and remembered that I can only do what I can only do. And if she gets 3 breastmilk bottles and 1 formula bottle a day, I haven't failed- I've given her as much as I could that day. So I'm not stressing about this no mo'. And I'm not going to fill anymore days of blogging with breastfeeding woes. And I'm not going to feel guilty. And I'm not going to compare myself to anyone else. And I'm going to remember that I've had one hell of a last 3 months and stop being hard on myself for something I've tried my best to control. And Thank you Nicole.

K&K take NY. Ya'll. The train tracks are spattered with pieces of wreckage. And you can't stop. Can't stop. Kris Humpforfree (I heart Stacy Mestayer) I mean this kid. THIS KID. Does anyone remember when Khloe said "she's just mad because she's married to a barking dog". I died. So Kourtney's preg...like when do she and Scott reconcile to make a baby? Is Khloe pissed? Just wondering.

My little Madgealicious has a cold. I need it to go away. I HHHHHHHHHHHate sucking snot out of her nose while she cries with her arms in the air like mama mama pick me up and make it stop. I haaaaaateeeeeeeeeeeeeee it. But she usually sneezes after its over from the saline and then laughs hysterically at the sneeze so that compensates the pain just a little.

Also Mags did some artwork yesterday. She painted an apple and an acorn. Of course she got the colors spot on. She's soooooo smart. But really, can I be there to see this??? I'm under the assumption they paint their hands and then rub it on the paper....but like is there a secret.....wouldn't I be able to find a teeeeeney tiny bit of red paint left over? I just wish I could see it in action!!!!! My little magdeypie smiling and painting. I hope she wore her painting smock.

Duh-nah. Speaking of smocks! Did you hear? Did you get the news? Memo? Namely Jessica's blog post? We are doing it. The Little Crane Smocked Shoppe. It's real. It's coming to a facebook near you real real soon. Smocked matching bebe and toddy beautiful outfits for boys and girls! (purple and gold thongs for boys and girls...anyone? anyone with me on that one) We've been behind the scene's making it happen for the past two months and its happening. Please get so excited. And then take your excitment and force it down everyone you know that has a bebe's throat. And then when we force it some more, you pick up the ball and keep forcing. And then spend your monthly smocking allowance on our adorable clothes. And then spend some more for your friends and family and then force them to spend and then take a picture on the beach in your matching outfits and email it to us so we can plug the beauftiful adorbale pic. Ummm K! Ok! I mean it's real ya'll. Its so real you don't even know how many papers we had to file!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack

Back back back back at work. And don't tell anyone else but I feel FABULOUS. I'm so high on life right now I might float up and join the clouds. I'm serious. High on mother f-ing life. I'm going through emails...and I just hit the last series of Anne Peirce emails like the last 2 weeks I was at work. One would think this would deter me but nooooooooooooo I read every one, every sentence, every word and soaked up every ounce of her that I could through those emails. They were mostly sent from MDA appointments and the hospital just telling me what she wanted me to bring her for lunch or wanting updates on how I was feeling or what I wanted her to make for dinner and sneak over and put in my fridge while I was at work. The beach house. And you know, Maggie. Maggie's nursery, Maggie's this, Maggie's that. Before Maggie was even outside in this big wide world. Savored every morsel. And the last one, the last email I ever got from her finished with this:

I love you more than all the grains of sand on the beach! Love, mom

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh still high on life. Stay with me! Here are my notes 3 hrs in.

1) There is a new person on our finance team...Kathleen....she is dressed real real real cute today. I mean like real cute. Like REAL BIZNESS CUTE NICOLE! I'm jelly. I want my real cute bizness clothes to fit so she knows how cute I am. I do have a spankin new dress on that does real great things for breastfeeding boobs and large tummy's but I mean does she know? Plus I had to take my good Talbots heels off because they were just too high for first time in heels in like 6-9 months.... so I just have some old so-so's and not some come F me bizness style. YA KNOW. I have to pull out all the stops this week. Plus write down my points like its my job. DONE. DONE. DONE.

2) Gchat. Enough said.

3) I got a raise while I was gone. Just saying.

4) I made pork loin in the crock pot last night.
   - 1 packet onion soup mix
   - 1 cup water
   - 3/4 cup red wine
   - 3 tbls soy sauce
   Mix those up in the crock pot, put in your pork loin, and put 3tbls mined garlic, and ground black pepper on the top. 4hrs on low. DEEEEEEEEEEEEEFREEEEEEEEAKINGGGGGGGGLIIIIIIICIOUS. Like pulled pork sandwich WW style. Or like over rice and the juice left in the pot like we had it last night. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMooooooooooooooo

5)  John dropped Mags off at school this morning- and she had fallen asleep by the time he got there- and the captain of her room said "Give me Maggie to hold while she sleeps"...of course all he said was yeah one teacher said- let me hold her- and I'm like the captain, the captain of the room? The older lady, the captain... because I'm obsessed with making sure the captain is in love with her. I mean it only took one week and she obviously is. Right in the nook. Good work Motha of the Year!

6) The nursing mothers room. Someone told me there was a tv in there. LIES.

7) Speaking of nursing...we are struggling with milk production over here. I worked really hard last week to increase it after I put myself out there and called some girl's cell phone whose number I found on the le leche website. She told me what I needed to be doing to get myself right and I did it, and by Friday I had pumped pretty close to what I needed. So please please please cross your fingers that this works...I am really not ready to give it up. And please don't hate me or my baby for smelling like fenugreek nonstop.

8) I have bought two Christmas gifts. One for Piper and one for David's dog, Lilly. That's it. I'm just gonna online shop it out.

Okay that is enough for now...back to the grind. By grind I mean cleaning out outlook and reading my blogs and facebook and pinterest and saying every hour or so- man I have so many emails. You know.

Moves like Jagger

(are they talking about Mick (sp), like Mick Jagger, or is it some special wedding line dance that I don't know about and everyone jumps on the floor and "wobbles" and I have to hold Katie's hand so I can keep up? (because I have to stay on the dance floor b/c Dalia (sp) is singing and giving me silent high fives from the stage b/c I was her favorite bride EVER, so I have to keep up the charade that I do, in fact, dance, like no one is looking!)) (too many commas...I liked the effect)

Instagram? Why was anyone holding out...I've been seeing it pop up in places but never went and checked it out...Giggy said something yesterday and I got on....only to find people I know already enjoying. DOCUMENTING LIFE with old-timey pics via facebook wall photos but without the crazies...HULLLLLOOOOOOOOOO my kind of party! Can you make a mypublisher book at the end of a year??? I sure hope so! Joshy...please figure it out.

I went in Sears today for the sole purpose of checking out the Kardashian line...its on sale...just like JLO and LC at Kohl's. Permanent sale? I did discover something greater though...French Connection cheap label- UK Style, permanent sale. I may or may not have bought a couple pieces :)

Speaking of LC, I caught Van Wilder Freshman Year today while my child was having a meltdown (more on that later) Kristen Cavallari (sp) was in it...hilarious. Like as in, hilariously bad acting..and you know I'm a straight up sucker for ABC Family bad acting. So anyways...where is KCav, or LC or Whit??? Can MTV make a show with Olivia Palmero (sp) being nice to Whit and Joe Zee (sp) and LC and Stttttttteppppppppphen and Brody? No Jade though, I can't stand the teeth on that little B. Like I need a reunion Laguna/Hills/City...Audrina and Lo on the side? Did Lo ever get married to that boy? Remember when LC's parents built the new house and Lo came over to visit with her college bf and she had gained the freshman 15++ and everyone was knocking her...I mean I wasn't...I know about the freshman 15++. Mags would love the reunion show...she's already on track to be a PEIrce, watching TV like its her job.

So, meltdown. Tuesday evening is when it all started...crying so bad that there are real tears and red faces and screams that meld together so you aren't really sure if there is a breath in between the cries. Uhhhhh so frustrating when your child basically hasn't cried for 12 weeks, except for some fussy witching hours that a little rocking and holding could solve! So then we woke up Wednesday like normal, and it all began again after lunch time and we got short reprieve in the stroller and then lasted through until she put herself to sleep crying at 8pm and I just let her sleep the night, giving up my normal full night knowing I'd probably wake up at 2 or 3 to feed her...but you see when you scream all afternoon and evening you sleep all night because you never took a nap- so we made it until 5am- eat, back to sleep with no problems, and she ate again at 9 and then screamed and cried the whole morning until we pretty much drove/strolled for 3 hrs and got some sleep. I had a Komen meeting tonight and I'm like- do I leave John with this? It's a mess! So I do, and of course she goes to sleep in the swing like the sweet darlin little bebe I know as I'm walking out the door, takes a bath, takes her bottle and goes to bed with a couple shhhshhh's and some rocking. LIKE? I don't even care, but is it over??? All my boards say this is a "wonder week" and this is gonna happen and it sucks and....is it over?????????????? I like my sweet darlin bebe. I guess this is what ppl say is hard, and I guess I've been REALLY REALLY LUCKY! Because I've been walking around saying, This is so easy what are all these ppl talking about?? I mean I'm still saying its easy. I'm still chalking this up to a "wonder week" Right? RIGHT.

Bitches

HI Bitches! I went to work today for like 2 hrs...it was delightful. And I'm not ashamed to say it. I LOOOOOOOOVE Maggie more than anything else that exists in life and if my life afforded me the chance to stay home with her I probably would still find myself a side job. I just need it....the interaction, the brain power, a place for my bossiness to come out..I need it people. Plus the ladder its just sitting there leaning on the wall waiting for me..I can't give it up!

Sooooooooooo I took the mini-pill and it garnered me no milk. Bebe crying in the middle of the night because she didn't get enough to eat during the day. Then I got the sickness of last week which I'm still blaming on the gumbo because that's what I puked...and I couldn't eat...so I really had no milk. Like keep going to the freezer and I hated it and I cried because all I want to do is breastfeed Maggie for as long as possible...it's what my Mom did and it meant so much to her to breastfeed us and she was so happy that it came back in style and she saw all my friends breastfed, and I mean I just need to do it until I can't anymore. I mean there are lists of reasons but she's a big one for me. But 2.5 months was not that time..so I cried. Mini pill + sickness = no milk. Soooooooooo I took myself to whole foods and bought fenugreek....like all the B's say online...ya'll. YA'LL milk milk milk milk milkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Can't stop, won't stop. The side effect....you smell like syrup...yes you sweat syrup smell. And since I'm a sweating fool these days, I'm now a walking pancake breakfast smelling fool. John says he likes it. ha. I mean I'm using it as birth control right now...so I obviously need another plan on that!!!

We went to galvy this weekend, its just so freaking delightful. I also taught my Dad the phrase, "Living the Salt Life" he's in love with it. Just like John Mestayer. I must get him a tshirt or something of the sorts. I still think Pipey loves the salt life more than anyone- she can't make it up. In fact she's still sleeping her salt life hangover away and its 7:45 on Tuesday. I've also got Mag's Beach Christmas Card pic all planned out as well as her 1st bday party at the beach. We are heading back for Thanksgiving...new traditions....futures....being thankful for what we have and the time we were given. Don't forget it. DON'T FORGET IT.

Hola mi chicas y chicos

1. I wish I really knew Spanish or French or Spanish and French!
2. I wish I had a name chain a la 1999 that said Maggie or mSa or a big M- name chain style...oooohhhh me likey. Just like Christina Applegate.
3. I HATE that iphones and ipads correct the word verification words...you know what I mean- autocorrect's them. DRIVES ME INSANE. I struggle with making out the letters anyways.
4. My daughter found her voice today. She talked all.day.long. I put her in bed at 9:45 and she just talked herself to sleep for 30 min. Talk talk talk talk. Grrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat teacha talk teacha talk. Joke.
5. 3 weeks people. That's the countdown. What you say? 3 weeks until I'm back at work. Shut your mouth I know.
6. I'm so excited to go back to work. AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so excited.
7. I don't want to leave Maggie at daycare, I don't don't don't want to leave her talking, smiling, breath smelling like spoiled milk little chipolte burrito wrapped up in a swaddle blanket sweet darlin little self who stretches and yawns like an old man when I wake her up to eat! I don't wannnnnnnnnnna.
8. I'm so worried about daycare protocol. I know nothing and the ladies will know and the other mom's will know and it will be just like Elieen's Dance Studio when my Mom let me go to the actual ballet class (one week ya'll because she had paid for gym and we couldn't make it one week) and you were supposed to wear a black leotard and pink tights and I didn't know and no one told me and I got embarrassed in front of the class and had to put a dollar in the jar because I had on my hot pink and electric blue blast leotard and lime green hot shorts. No one told me and I didn't know. I didn't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so insecure in new situations....I realized this at the car wash today. My insecurities have only come so far.
9. Did I tell you what a great weekend I had. Way too busy and way too much going on but really so delightful. The memorial was better than I ever expected and exactly what I think my Mom wanted, I hope, I hope it made her happy. I heard someone say on tv the other day, "It doesn't get any easier, you just get used to it". Genius. I would love to have the balls to say this as my new canned answer. I mean I don't- but I would looooooove to. Have I told you how lucky I am to have the people I have in my life. Because I know I have, but I need to say it again and again and again times 1 zillion. I AM SO LUCKY. Thank you everyone for all your love and support and for just plain showing up. In body, mind, flowers, cards, spirit, phone calls, texts, love, hugs, drinks and drugs. By drugs I mean, the highs of life because you know I'm a mom- no drugs.
10. Also not sure if you heard but I got a colon cleanse somewhere along the line from Thur-Sun and was holed up in my house until today because I literally (and I'm using the word correctly not in an exaggerated manor) could not leave my house. I'm not the only one who had the sickness, I know of least 4 other people. Just saying. If you thought it was a hangover...it might not have been :)

11. We are going to Galveston this weekend! It's so relaxing ya'll. SO sosoooo lucky.

Love to Love to Love you. Love lists. Love Excel! We'll be re-united real real soon sweet sweet excel bebe.

NOOOOOvember!

I just lost a WHOLE BIG LONG POST. I cant do it again. Here's the highlights.

1. Whirlwind wedding weekend was hard, but 10000% worth it. Jaime and Vali were both beautiful having the time of their lives at weddings that were perfectly them. I love weddings like that- when you can tell the bride had their hands in every single piece of everything. LOVE LOVE LOVE

2. I couldn't have done it without Jen, Julie and a side of Paul. COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT. What gift expresses the magnitude of what they did for me??? Let me know.

3. I think filining baby's fingernails is the hardest part of having a baby. I'm just saying.

4. I got a rose gold mens watch for my anny. Engraved. Wraped and ready to go. I got the form to get John's gift- not filled out, not turned in- I suck. I mean I need his truck to get it...but still.

5. We ate our wedding cake tonight with my Dad. Ironically or not-ironically my Mom made the cake. Kinda like she was here celebrating with us. I liked it, I think we all did. Everyone smiled when I said- "Mom made this cake" Also, that shit was good.

6. KK??? WHY??? WHY did you through with it??? b/c he bought you that bracelet that was ugly and you felt bad? Because you already had the three vera's fitted to you like a glove??? Because Khloe and Kourt were living happily ever after? You want a bebe??? Where is Reggie- let's get this going. Beautiful beautiful mixed media bebe's all the live long day.

7. Jessica Simpson is preg! Beyonce and Jessica. I feel like getting preg again just to be in the club!!!

8. Have you seen the Pepsi comerical with old footage of Micheal Jackson and Ray Charles and.....BRIT! Brit gets the most air time. I make John re-wind everytime. She looks so beautiful and young and like life hasn't dragged her through the mud yet.

9. Did we talk about halloween? Bebe Owl's are the cutest type of owl out there. The ladies at work say the owl costume and asked if I bought it at Pottery Barn. Ha. LOVE IT when that happens. It was all Jessica people, all Jessica.

10. I alomost forgot...Vali had Groovy 7 as her wedding band. We are still best friends. Ask anyone- she validated me like 99 times throughout the night. Kisses on the cheek, secret looks while singing when people were being crazy, pointing at me in the crowd....ya'll. STILL BEST.FRIENDS.